Rich nearly pulls whilst out cycling

Long uphill stretch? Check. Gale force winds? Check. It was time to take a break. I pulled into a country lane on the right, outside of the winds wicked path. I sat down next to my bike and pulled out an overpriced Lucozade energy bar. From the corner of my right eye, I noticed a man come out of a house roughly 30 metres to my right and walk briskly towards me. When he drew to within ten feet he asked the first of many important questions.

“You’re sitting in my garden.” – I couldn’t tell if he was asking a question or making a statement. I looked around. Some distance behind me was a broken swing, close on the left by the tree were two fence panels, both lying flat on the grass. I played it safe.

“I didn’t realise”

“This is where my fence was” – I still couldn’t tell if he was annoyed about me invading his property or thrilled that finally, since moving in, someone other than the postman had discovered the near-invisible country lane and “invaded” his “privacy”.

“Have you been cycling?” The detective asked. I look at my bike, and decided against trying to explain I had actually been swimming.

“Yeah, i’m in training for a charity cycle challenge across Kenya.” I could tell instantly he was looking for a conversation, his posture changed, and seized the opportunity.

“Kenya? You’re going to burn your bollocks off.” Nice of him to express his interest in my netheregions, but before I could fake a laugh, he continued:

“Shouldn’t you be training in Tenerife, I have a holiday home there.” Was this an offer or an observation? I took a cautious approach.

“I would love to, but I work during the week.”

“you’re going to have to wrap your bollocks up well if you’re cycling across Kenya”. This was the second time he had expressed an interest in my privates, I began to get worried, I struggled to find that polite conversation-ending response.

“yeah” I prayed he would walk away, but he had found his element.

“Once they hit a burning saddle you’re going to feel it” That’s it. I wasn’t taking anymore. I needed to get out of there before he invited me into his house and demonstrated the best method of packaging one’s privates. I resorted to a classic, hoping he hadn’t experienced society in the past fifty years.

“Do you have the time?”

“one second” twenty seconds later “it’s half past ten”

“oh, i’m meant to be meeting my girlfriend in 30 minutes” It felt important for him to know I was straight. A flicker of anguish crossed his face.

“Be off then. Do you cycling past my house this way every Sunday morning?” I had already scooting my bike away.

“No, I went the wrong way this week.”

Celebrate good times

Not that anyone cares, but Gloucestershire University has a new vice chancellor. Yes, exactly, hurrah! Team189 will be out celebrating at some point over the next week I expect. However, i’m slightly concerned after reading the press release. Especially this quote:

I am determined that the University of Gloucestershire will continue to develop as a very special kind of University“

Now is it me, or does that make us sound like a university for the mentally challenged?

Deal or No Deal

A quick thought from a Deal or No Deal repeat. It’s down to the final three boxes. Two of them, high amounts of £15,000 and £50,000, in the other box is 10p.

It’s a disaster, the guy leaves with 10p. Then another contestant bizarrely declares:

“Unlucky, you played a great game and you really deserved to win”

What the fuck? Seriously, what the fuck? First of all, it’s difficult to think of anyone other than game shows contestants less deserving of handouts. Even beggars on the street have suffered, these people have shirked their work and social responsibilities, had their accommodation and travel covered by the broadcaster all to try and win huge sums of money in a game of pure luck.

Also, “played a great game”? Indeed, I’m sure he randomly guessed numbers better than most of the other contestants. It must be mind-bogglingly difficult to say nineteen numbers in a row, without guessing the same one twice. And finally, “unlucky”. Unlucky, Really? This guy was offered £20,000 by the banker. Instead he “bravely”, (some say ‘greedily’) decided to go for the £50,000.

I would love Deal or No Deal to go into the negatives. It would be far more fun to see contestants choosing between paying the studio £50,000 and winning £100,000.

Hills are shit

I’m sorry to be the one to break this news. But hill are shit. I’m sorry, but they really, really are. They’re not beautiful, marvels of nature or geology or any other euphemism academics would like to give them. They’re just shit. Now, at first glance they don’t look particularly shit, but they are cleverly deceptive like that.

I discovered this ruse yesterday. You see, I’ve recently begun training for the Kenya Cycling Challenge. This challenge is a 400km cycling journey, at high altitudes, in tropical heats during five days this February. As part of my training I’ve gotten sponsorship from a cycling tour holiday Compass Holidays, who will provide me with a bike, and great cycling routes throughout the Cotswold. On Saturday I attempted a 31km cycle journey.

A few hours and 24kms later I was still going strong. Then, unfortunately, I discovered hills are shit. The climax of this cycling route is a long climb up Cleeve Hill, the highest point in Gloucestershire (1028ft). I began brightly, but then my non-existent leg muscles got pissed off with this particular hill being especially shit and didn’t want to move anymore.

So, as clearly proven, hills are shit.

P.s. Besides training for this Kenya Cycling Challenge, I need to raise £2500. I’ve currently raised nearly £1800 and I’m hoping some team189 readers will like to contribute. Anything you are willing to give, I would gratefully receive. Please remember that this PC lab will help hundreds of children every year receive a decent education. This education which will arm them with unlimited potential and opportunities to achieve in this world. I honestly can’t think of a greater gift that can be given, so please give generously by clicking here.

Thanks.

That random guy!

Ok, so this morning sugarush comes into my room and tells me she’s about to go to work. She also mentions the landlord was in the house fixing the shower, and that some random guy (assumed to be new housemates friend) was waiting to use our bathroom.

An hour later i hear our new housemate having a conversation with this friend. This is how it basically went….

jon:  “so who are you?”

Random: “I’m xxxxxxxx, where am I?

So at this point I decided it was an appropriate time to get up and find out what the hell is going on. Jon doesnt know this guy, and in fact he is a complete random. I now remember that i heard the back door open last night, but just assumed that it was our friends from next door coming to visit in a drunken state. I was wrong.

The guy comes into the kitchen and i ask who he is and introduce myself. The first thing he said to me was ”nice hair Tim”! (i had really bad bed hair) He explained he had no idea how he got here, and didnt know what street the house was on. I tried to jog his memory by suggesting he came through from next door (we share a back garden) because he has no front door key and the wall at the back is impossible to climb (millions of feet tall).  ”No” he answered, “I cant see myself coming through next door”. Anyway slightly insulted by the hair comment I proceeded to get him out. He then decides to imform me he cant find his shoes and actually askes him he can borrow some of mine. I told him i didnt know who you are, so no!

Me and Rich then went next door to find out who he was. Apparently one of the girls staying there brought a guy back last night, and they thought he could have made his way into our house!! His shoes sat neatly in their hallway.

Bizzare day!

The Party

It is absolutely, ridiculously, cold right now. Unfortunately Sugarush is a pyscho with a fondness for leaving the back door open (she likes the draft).

As has been pointed out, I haven’t done a post about the lads’ house party last Saturday. That’s because, like the most memorable nights, i don’t actually remember too much of it. It was quite good, I think. It didn’t live up to Stu’s party at the start of the semester, but then few  (if any) nights will.

I remember Rach calling a lot, everyonbe pretty drunk, a bath tub of beer, a worringly empty bath tub, vomit on my jacket, wearing some weird  thing on my thumb and a few other things.

Hopefully we can get plans for our ‘joint house party’ (our back garden joins with that of next door) sorted within the next week or so.

A long night ahead…

I’m going to be up until about 3am. You see, I have a near-3000 word piece due for a gaming magazine by tomorrow morning. A piece I have not yet begun, complete with pictures (which I don’t own the copyright for) and quotes (from experts I haven’t yet contacted).

In short, I’m at the wrong end of a journalist deadline. Writing for a magazine is a lot like writing an essay, once you get the hang of it. The only difference is you can’t plagiarise whatever obscure books and websites say. Ah, and instead of getting marked for your work, you get feedback from commissioning editors. Common feedback includes “rewrite, 4th & 6th paragraphs by 2pm – need higher res pictures too”.

Finally, instead of a 48 hour extension and using any excuse under the sun to have a deadline extended, you will instead be dabbling with lawsuits and the possibly of never receiving a paid commission again.

Still, at least I’m being paid a comical amount of money.

Never use clichés.

The end.

We’re back

Sorry we haven’t been posting recently. I’ve been busy working for The Man, Tim’s been busy with a bad case of “man flu”, Sugarush has just been busy with men period.

Back to regular updates on Team189 from today.

In the meantime, I leave you with one of the funniest sentences i’ve ever read – as quoted in the Guardian newspaper:

“The government insists it is making headway in the fight against corruption. New figures claim 67,505 officials have been punished in less than four years. This includes Qiu Xiaohua, the head of China’s national statistics bureau.”

Sugarush and Tim on a mission.

On Sunday afternoon popular team 189 member, Sugarush was contacted by a certain assistant manager of a highly respected restaurant/bar chain. During this call he commissioned the Rushin with an important task. This task was to be a Mystery customer, evaluating food, bar and staff during the following day.  She thought long about the request and decided to accept. (actually she said yes straight away because it meant free food and drink). Tim was also granted a guest visa and accompanied her on this venture, recording it carefully on his new phone!

Monday arrived and rushing and manager secretly met to study the criteria they would be looking for and grading that day. Yes we have hangovers….

 With a quick conversation, manager x left for the gym while Tim and rushin began the mission. A few cocktails and main courses later…..

Next began the huge wait for one of the waiters to come to clear the table and ask us about dessert. No one came so we had to find something to do….

Looking out the window Tim couldn’t understand why there was only half a bus waiting outside…

 Tim finds some excitment in eating a large spoon of sour cream that is left over on his plate.

Next there was some confusion about which dessert the 2 mystery customers would be sharing.

                                  

The pair opted for the Chocolate and orange ice-cream sundae, only to find it actually had real orange in it which they hated because they didn’t read the menu properly.

THE MISSION WAS COMPLETE.

We reunited with a now more awake manager and celebrated at the study with further food and beverages…. WHAT A DAY!

How you can get Lost series 3 now

Several people have been asking me how you can download Lost series 3 now.

Well, you can’t, not the whole series yet anyway. What you can download are any of the new TV series being shown in the new TV season out in the States. Here’s how you do it:

Step 1: Download a piece of software called “Bitcomet” by clicking here.

Step 2: Install this software onto your hard drive.

Step 3: Go to websites like mininova.org, Torrent Reactor, torrentspy.com. (There are many more, just search for torrents in Google and you should find some nice websites).

Step 4: Assuming you’re so lazy you simply clicked on the first option mininova, search for “Lost” (or anything your after) in the search box.

Step 5: Find the result with the most seeds/leeches (indicated on the right) and download that torrent onto your desktop.

Step 6: Double click on that file and it should begin downloading the torrent into c:/program files/bitcomet/downloads (or something like that.  It could take anything around 1 hour to 1 day to download, it depends on how many people are ’sharing’ the file. You can also download films, music and anything else you find this way. Happy stealing!

If you wonder what things like Lost s03.e01 stands for it’s (Lost SEason 3, episode 1).

I wont spoil it here, but the first episode of the new series of Lost was fantastic. New One Tree Hill series is mediocre. IF you’re looking for something really good, download a TV series called “Studio 60″, the writing of it is fantastic, and it has Matthew Perry from Friends in.

If you have any problems downloading any of this stuff, leave a comment below and i’ll answer it asap.